OBAMA - RATZINGER 2008

WEST CHESTER, Pa. -- After dodging questions at the April 16th Democratic debate about vice presidential selections, freshman Senator Barack Obama announced today his selection for a running mate: "This country has been run for too long by the stagnant old style of politics. America must move beyond this archaic rationale... it is time we embraced change!"

He addressed a large crowd at a West Chester, Pa. town hall meeting with these unprecedented remarks: "This election cycle, the Democratic party has become too divided... too bitter... it has been swept up in this 'war mentality' broadcast by Ms. Clinton in her attempt to steal the nomination. No more will America be fatally gripped by these divisive notions.

"My campaign is about change. The politicos and pundits have been speculating who I might invite on the ticket as a running mate. Even at Wednesday's debate, I was asked about accepting Ms. Clinton as a vice-president. Today is a new day for America."

That's when he unveiled his vice presidential selection: "Joseph Alois Ratzinger."

Gasps were audible in the crowd of about 300. A surprise trip to Pennsylvania was not on the itinerary for Ratzinger, who had just met with President Bush earlier in the week. Coinciding with Ratzinger's birthday and his third year in office, his trip to the Northeast Corridor came at a convenient time for Obama's campaign, which was suffering setbacks in Pennsylvania.

A spokesman from the Obama campaign stated that "having a reigning Pope as a vice-presidential candidate should be a big boost for Obama's Pennsylvania campaign." An aide close to the Holy Father confirmed the selection: "His Holiness will have far greater resources to practice Jesus' teachings in his new position as vice president."

A California Congressman, who wished to remain nameless, told the Philadelphia Tribune that while a papal vice president might do well for America's perception abroad, he was personally disappointed with the selection: "Obama will be plagued with allegations of flip-flopping. He can't possibly remain pro-choice with a papal veep. This choice could isolate a large chunk of the Democratic party."

A Real Clear Politics phone survey of 684 registered Democrats showed a slight gain of 2 percentage points in the Keystone state for the Illinois Senator, while nationally Ms. Clinton showed a surge of 7 percent over Obama.